A freak accident waiting to happen.

[tensecondrule]

[Sachi never really expected a lot of the things that she experienced leading up to now.

From being returned to life as an NPC within the world of New Aincrad and ALfheim by proxy, to being returned to the world proper from inside a camera that was her former guildmate's doing, to being thrust into one of the capers that he'd gotten tangled with, she felt a strange mixture of being blessed that she could continue on, albeit in an awkward shell of sorts, and being confused that she's still even alive. Not that it kept her from being happy to be back -- especially since she could meet the many people that pushed him to become what he is today.

Nothing could really describe her confusion at what was going on now, though--the fact that she was helping him find, of all things, a stash of... 'unmentionables', so to speak. This was awkward; why was she the only one that could help him with something like this? Isn't it a bit much to ask her of something like that in the first place!? DX ...Though then again, now that she reflects on it, it's not like Kirito has any better choices right now...

...well, best to pull it together for him. She can't let him down...though that might be harder to avoid than she's expecting it to be...

Sachi's lens widen and narrow in bewilderment as she stares into the darkness under Kirito's bed...]

Er...Kirito? Are you sure this is where you left it?

Comments

[fairydancing]

S-Sinonon-san--!

[ Before Liz can even attempt speaking, Suguha's already at Sinon's side, prying Liz's fingers off of the poor girl's chest and giving her a particularly impressive death glare as she just helps the poor sniper away from this sekuhara monster. Seriously, why do they all know Liz again...? Who even gave her the right to do these kinds of things to them, even?

( Current "ruined for marriage" counter: 1 for Sinon ) ]

Geez, Liz-san... what's wrong with you? Isn't it bad enough that you did this to me and Asuna-san once before? Sinonon-san doesn't need to be exposed to that!



Hey, HEY! For the record, she came along willingly! And I was only just checking her out since it looked like she'd grown a bit in the lasy year or so...

[ . . . poor Sachi. If her impressions of Liz weren't already ruined before...

Either way, Suguha just looks at her with the most unimpressed of glares as she put her hand to her forehead in a mix of frustration and exasperation, as she's not QUITE sure what to make of this whole mess - understandable, considering it's Liz who probably put the poor sniper up to it.

Then she takes a closer look at the magazines that both girls were looking at, and... she just makes a face at the both of them - while saying something that she probably shouldn't have said because, in hindsight? It's going to end up incriminating HER, as well... ]



Geez... checking her out for what? This?

Why do you two even have part of onii-chan's collection out, anyway!? That's not something anyone should be looking at!

[ . . . uh, Suguha? Why do you know what this is, and what do you mean, 'part'... ? ]

[tensecondrule]

[Sinon squints at Liz like she'd declared her intent to shove someone into one of her cosplays. Really? Because that's not what she remembers from when she opened the door this morning... :|]

Last I checked, you didn't mention we'd be looking through this again. Besides, I--

[...And then she proceeds to balk at Sugu mid-sentence, because there's so much about that sentence that doesn't make sense to her...]



...'part'...? Wait, don't tell me there's more of these lying around!

[................................No. Nononononoonononono. She can't possibly be hearing this right, could she? Suguha couldn't possibly be a closet pervert underneath the face she shows to everyone else on ALO, right...? This was some kind of freaky sexually charged nightmare, wasn't it!? Wait, can AIs even have nightmares!?! No, more importantly, this has to be all some kind of lie, wasn't it!? Where are the good natured friends Kirito told her about!?!?

Sachi continues listening in, hoping beyond any rational hope that what she just heard was her imagination, while Yui's camera lens begins to focus on her fellow AI's...]

Sachi-san...?

[fairydancing]

. . . ah. Well... er...

You see...

[ . . . crap, she'd totally just blurted that out without thinking, didn't she? Suguha glances between Sinon and Liz with a nonplussed expression on her face as she spoke up again... ]

T-there's a good reason for this!



Suguha-chaaaaaaaaan~

[ Suddenly, she felt a chill down her back as the poor girl let out a soft squeak of panic as Liz slowly approached her with a wicked grin on her face, her hands reaching for empty air as she realized just what the leprechaun was planning.

Even though she had time to react according and attempt an escape, it was already too late as Liz jumped after her and grabbed her, groping her breasts in earnest - Suguha yelped loudly, squeaking and flailing as Liz continued to leer at her. ]



L-Liz-san, stop! Is this even necessary at all?!



Hey, you can make this stop at any time you want! Just answer our sniper friend's question, yeah?

[ Suddenly Suguha lets out a panicked yelp as she feels Liz's hand on her butt - and reacts accordingly as she slaps Liz's hands away and hides behind Sinon. Seriously, Sinonon, you're saner than she is. Do something about this sekuhara leprechaun already! ]



S-so what if there's more?! Geez, Liz-san--! This is exactly why I didn't want you coming in here in the first place!

. . . they're in my room, if you have to know.

[ ...

( Current "ruined for marriage" counter: 1 for Sinon, 1 for Suguha )

Considering that Kirito himself had dismissed the idea when they were looking around for it earlier, suddenly Sachi might find herself getting a little sick... why, Suguha. Why. /)__(\ !!! ]

[tensecondrule]

[...welp. It's happened. And she sincerely didn't think it'd happen by the hands of the people Kirito is connected to, but it did. Her first impressions of everyone have been completely shattered. Liz is bad. Sinon isn't nearly as bad, but the fact that she went along with this out of curiosity makes her guilty of all these shenanigans too. But no first impression has been destroyed as thoroughly as the one she had of his sister, whose mere mention of the books being kept in her room has her not just feeling sick in spite of being an AI, but wishing she'd protested to his dismissal of the idea when she could have... /)_(\

This isn't helped by Yui's boggling over the whole issue, of course, now that she's witnessing even more of the sekuhara...]

...Sachi-san? Is there any reason why Liz-san is grabbing Suguha-san by the chest? Or why she and Sinon-san flailed about earlier?

[...Five seconds pass without a response before the childlike AI turns to Sachi's camera...]

Sachi...san? Sachi-san? A--Are you still there? Y--You're making me worry now...!

[Another few seconds pass before she musters a reply.

Suffice to say, it's not an answer to her question... :|]

...everything Kirito told me after he saved me from that temple was a lie...

[...Welp, Yui's lens are widening, the closest gesture she has to being utterly perplexed...]

E--Eh? W--What did Papa lie to you about? He wouldn't do something like that, would he!? E--Even if he does some silly things, Papa wouldn't outright lie to anyone...!

[Internally shuddering, Sachi just...tries to record whatever else there is to record from this particular conversation... :|

Meanwhile, with the sekuhara derp ranch, Sinon balks at Liz again, before moving over to poor Sugu and checking on her. Not that it'd be likely to help any at that point, seeing that the damage is done...]



Seriously? All that just to get answers out of her?

[fairydancing]

[ It's a good thing none of them are aware of the fact that Sachi and Yui are watching right now; they'd be mortified as all hell if they realized that there were people listening in on them, much less Yui. That would just open up an entirely new mess right there...

Either way, though, Liz just shoots Sinon a withering glare, unaware of their audience as she throws up her arms in exasperation before crossing them and huffing indignantly at Sinon. ]



But it worked, didn't it? We got an answer to your question...

Even so, there wasn't any need for you to grab me like that!

[ She's just going to continue hovering around Sinon as she relaxes visibly, groaning in exasperation as she put a hand to her forehead. Seriously, if this didn't take her back to the swimming lessons... she was just getting over that, as well... either way, she visibly stops and huffs loudly at Liz as she finally emerges from behind Sinon. ]



. . . anyway, if you really want to, I guess... I can show you the rest of the magazines, but you have to promise me you won't touch anything! And I mean it, too!

[ Suguha continues to glare at Liz, who just sighs quietly and shakes her head. Seriously, this is what all her hard work brings her, huh...? ]



Okay, okay! We'll be good, promise! Just show us the other magazines already... I know I'm curious, but who knows? Maybe Sinonon will find out she's got a few more charm points she could use on Kirito-kun...

[ . . . Liz plz ]

[tensecondrule]

[Sinon gives them both an awkward judging look that looks more like she can't even think of what to make of either of them right now, before shaking her head and sitting down on bed. She's not entirely sure where this is going to go anymore, but one thing she can say for sure? Is that this is going to take a turn for the miserable before it gets better...]



You make it sound like I'm actually going to use them... [Le siiiiigh. :| She glances at Sugu.] Still, now that she's more or less ratted it out of you, there isn't much point in not seeing them, is there?

[Sachi just shivers in place while continuing to look. How did her life come to this, exactly? Spying on her own friends for another friend for the sake of finding something they were supposed to dispose, and listening to all manner of uncomfortable conversation to go with it...]

I--I hope Kirito comes back soon...at this rate...

Ah--I was going to ask, actually...Where did Papa go? He shouldn't be that far, right?

He went to the library to pick up a Mechatronics book...so he might not be back for a while.

[fairydancing]

Well, why wouldn't you, Sinonon?! You're definitely cute, so I don't see what's so wrong about you learning some "tricks of the trade", so to speak...

[ LIZ...

There's a groan of pure exasperation from Suguha as she tries - and fails - to resist the urge to bring a hand to her forehead. Why do they know this monster again, she's even worse than any pervert...! ]

L-Liz-san, that's... you know what, never mind, I can't even--

[ She's just. Going to turn to Sinon sheepishly and scratch the back of her head in embarrassment... ]

Still, she does have a point! You're really pretty, Sinon-san, so who knows? There could be something that you could use...

[ Though she does also have the decency to shrug unhelpfully because of how that might be taken... unlike a certain leprechaun... ]

Like you said, you might as well - what have you got to lose?

[tensecondrule]

[Ruffling her own hair at all that for a moment, Sinon, after looking over the room some -- her eyes just missing the cameras settled on the shelf -- turns to the door.]



How many times do I have to say I won't actually use it...? Seriously, there's something wrong with this discussion...

Besides, you guys do know Asuna's going to freak out at us if she so much as overhears any of this, right? [Standing after a moment and pressing two fingers to her forehead, she heads to Sugu's room to find the things...all while inadvertently making poor Sachi freak out inside. Again. /)_(\

The only question is, how far is this going to go, and how many questions will Yui ask her while she can't really listen in... DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD|]

...um...Sachi-san?

[Yui's camera remains firmly glued in the direction of Sachi's. Continuing to stare at the slowly emptying room, she responds without diverting attention...]

Yes?

What are they trying to use, exactly...?

[. . .

KIRITO, HURRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY... DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD|]

[fairydancing]

Well, then we'll just have to make sure neither she nor Kirito-kun find out! It'll be like those stealth missions in games - we've played enough of those so it can't be that hard.

[ . . . if only it were really as simple as you said, Liz. Suguha just stares at Liz like she's lost it and responds accordingly... ]

Liz-san... just because we've played VRMMOs doesn't make us experts... well, unless you're onii-chan...



Suguha-chan, he doesn't count! Kirito-kun makes anyone look like they're a noob, let's be honest here...

[ Wow, you two. Somewhere Kirito is sneezing loudly in the library and he's not sure why that's a thing... ]

Now come on! We don't have any time to waste - to Suguha-chan's room!

W-wait--! Liz-saaaaaaaaaaaan!

[ Welp, with Liz and Suguha following after Sinon, the three conspirators eventually shuffle out of Kirito's room, Liz in particular looking like she was ready to show Sinon and Suguha how to impress a man ( read: Kirito ) with these... clandestine magazines that were in Suguha's possession. The door closed behind them, and the room was empty at last.

. . . if Sachi's impressions of Suguha, Liz and Sinon weren't ruined before, though... ]

[tensecondrule]

[Hahahahahahahaha. Hahaha. Ha.

Sachi's impression is most certainly ruined NOW... she would have put it past them, because they sounded like some of the nicest people Kirito could have met! But now, now that she's seen what they're like when they're not bickering with each other on ALO, this whole thing's gotten so much more thickly awkward she swears she could cut it with Nagisa's greatsword... She's not even sure how to tell Yui any of what she's looking for answers for either, considering this is more or less corruption of a minor...

Speaking of, how is she even supposed to answer any of Yui's questions without inadvertently making her curious about the wrong things? It's not as if Sachi's got that much knowhow about it; she wasn't exactly into risque subject matter herself anyway, even if she knew the basics. But she doesn't have enough metaphors or fancy ways to put it to make the explanation work...]

Sachi-san?

[Aaaaaaaaaand she just got broken out of her awkward little trance...]

W--What?

You went really, really quiet after I asked that question...I didn't ask anything uncomfortable, did I...?

N--No...no, you didn't. Really. I'm just...trying to figure out how to start... [Not that it helps her mental state, because she's torn between panicking and hitting the impromptu shutdown...]

[swordsmithing]

,[ And this is the problem when all of your friends are not only girls, but also girls who just so happen to be nursing feelings for you. Shenanigans like this happen, and everyone and everything is ruined in the process.

Unfortunately for Sachi, it's going to get even more uncomfortable for her - as it so happens, the air vent that their cameras are next to? The one that Liz shrieked at when she had war flashbacks of Five Nights at Freddy's? It's really good at picking up noises from all over the house. And since they, Liz, Suguha and Sinon are the only ones in the house... ]

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA! G-geez, Suguha, you weren't kidding when you said it was only part of the collection... how many of these things are there?!

I-I told you there was a lot! And Onii-chan gets a lot of gaming magazines, so I'm guessing that he sneaks them in that way...?

Yeah, I noticed... but seriously, though, swimsuits and gaming cosplay, too? Dork...

. . . it's onii-chan, though. Did you really expect anything different?

Okay, point, but still! This is a lot-- hey, wait, some of these look like those magazines I've seen Klein leafing through when he thinks no one's looking...

[ . . . well, at least that answers where he gets them? But still... this is way too much information in way too little time! Think of the recovery time and the stats, girls!

... oh, and also how it sounds like the front door just opened again, but at this point it's not like anyone would be paying attention, right? Right? ]

[tensecondrule]

[Yeah, no, this is only going to make that hideous feeling in the pit of her stomach all the worse.

And create a horrible feeling in Sinon's stomach, considering that she's mostly quiet until she stumbles onto a magazine that looks oddly loaded... Not even a few seconds later, there's an aggravated sigh as what sounds like the contents of said magazine starts spilling out.]

...I think I have the answer for why. [A very disinterested snort escapes her. Really, Klein? Really? Does that guy have NOTHING better to do with his free time besides deal with work-related shenanigans?] No wonder he's been slinking off from the party more often these past few weeks.

[Between this and his general antics when they go clearing stuff, she's suddenly really tempted to take a fire arrow to Klein's nose next... :|

Meanwhile, Sachi is just balking at how into this whole thing they are; enough that she feels kind of ruined by this whole fiasco alone... And Yui is just growing more and more confused by the minute. At least she hasn't said anything to discomfort Sachi, seeing that her answer's worked so far...?

Not that it helps the fact that they're both distracted from that door opening...]

[swordsmithing]

Eh? What'd you find, Sinonon?

[ Don't mind Liz as she shuffles over to Sinon as she peers at the pictures that have just fallen out of the magazine... Suguha joins her soon after, grabbing a picture and then balking when she realizes just what she's looking at. ]



Yeah, I wanna see- EEEEEEEEEEEEH!? W-wait, when did he get this picture-?!?! Klein-saaaaaaaaan!!!

SERIOUSLY! This is just wrong--! Besides, I hardly look my best in any of these! Why would you give them to Kirito-kun, they're so unflattering--?!



. . . really? That's what you're more concerned about, Liz-san...?

Well, aren't you, Suguha-chan? How offended would you be if someone gave a terrible picture of you to Kirito-kun?

LIZ-SAAAAAAAAAAN! T-that's not even relevant to this...!

[ At that Suguha turns a dull red and goes incredibly quiet, refusing to answer any more as she tries to will away the redness on her face. Poor Suguha...

Meanwhile, there's another set of footsteps approaching Kirito's room... could it be Kirito himself, perhaps? ]

[tensecondrule]

[.................................................

Sinon drives a palm into her forehead. To say the least of it? Liz's priorities are about as skewed as Kirito's preference for black. And swords. Can't forget swords...]

...I don't think I actually knew what I was expecting...

[Plucking out her pictures to keep as proof of Klein's tomfoolery, she settles onto the bed before looking to Sugu...]

Let's just beat him up on ALO later. As stupid as Kirito may be, Klein looks like he's trying to outdo him on that front...

[Meanwhile, in the corner of horrifically scarred AIs, Sachi's continued noping and Yui's mulling over what's going on are interrupted by the footsteps...]

Oh--! That must be Papa now...! I think...I can't say for sure...

[Nope, even a small chance that it's him is more than enough to have Sachi's breath catch in her throat. SANCTUARY AT LAST...!

Holding both her hands together in a vague prayer from behind the camera, she sends one wish to whatever powers that may be.

Please let that be Kirito; I'm not sure how much more of this I can take...!]

[beasttaming]

--rito-san? Ah... I'm coming in...!

[ You were expecting some idiot swordsderp? Too bad, it was just a cute beast tamer instead!

The door opens to reveal Silica, the girl behind the ALO beast tamer, looking around the room with a curious frown on her face - needless to say, it was empty. Whether or not it was a good or bad thing that she didn't notice that the cameras were on remains to be seen... ]

Oh... he's not here... and he wanted me to give this to him, too... now what?

[ "This" being some of her class notes from today since, like the derp that he was, Kirito had skipped one of his classes to work on some of the mechatronics projects for Sachi and Yui... sighing quietly, Silica ends up flopping onto his bed with a sigh. ]

Mmmmn... I guess I can wait for him to come back...?

[ And quiet possibly take in his room in the process. Silica sits up, taking a few moments to look around - it was surprisingly really tidy for a guy's room! There's a soft giggle as she flops back down and rolls around in his bed a bit - it was really comfy, too! Ah, it would be nice to share in a nap with him right now, wouldn't it...?

. . . then she starts realizing that she's all by herself in Kirito's room, and it doesn't take her long to suddenly break out into a blush, letting out a small squeak as she covered her cheeks. ]

A-ah, wait, this is bad! W-what am I doing--!? I-I'll just leave the notes at his desk and-- EEEEH?!

[ . . . w-whoops. Guess who found the porn stash. Silica yelps, just... staring at the offending magazines with a mixture of disgust, shock, and... is that curiosity? Sachi and Yui are definitely gonna notice the girl hesitating as she looks at the magazines again... ]

S-so even Kirito-san has something like this... e-even though he has Asuna-san, and yet... does he... really like this...?

[ . . . well, she did like Kirito, after all, and she was curious about what he liked, too... there's a nervous laugh from her a sshe soon sits down and opens one of the magazines - the one with all the girls with nekomimi... ]

O-one can't hurt, right? Just... one... a-ah, maybe he'd notice me if I wore something like this...?

[ . . . welp, there goes ANOTHER first impression that Sachi had of one of Kirito's friends... ]

[tensecondrule]

[. . .

How was she supposed to react to this? Was she supposed to react to this? And if she was, what was she even supposed to react to? There were just so many things wrong with this entire picture that she couldn't even think of where to start, and there was something dreadful about the mere act of just thinking about it that she fails--no, maybe even refuses subconsciously--to piece together. Her mind was short circuiting, and fast, and her prayers keep falling on deaf ears...

Suffice to say, there's nothing remotely okay about Sachi at this time.

Yui, on the other hand, is just staring at Silica and what she's doing like there's nothing wrong -- precocious, naive child that she is... at least, until Sachi finally makes a sound...]

Ah... why did it have to be like this...?

Eh? What's wrong...?

N--Nothing...! I'm sure Kirito will be back soon...! [All she can do at this point is reassure Yui and deflect the questions she's posed with... not that it's doing much good for the child she's made impromptu friends with, or even herself, for that matter. The other AI makes a noise of worry that comes out only just a little louder than intended; it's probably enough to make poor Silica jump a little if she hears it...]

[beasttaming]

[ Silica gets a little too absorbed into looking at the contents of the porn stash as a brilliant blush formed on her face - this was a little too much, but... did Kirito really like this?

She's snapped out of it when Yui makes a noise - squeaking loudly as she hurriedly slaps the book closed, looking around in a panic before she relaxes... ]

A-ah... n-no one's here... I think...

[ Her blush returns as she slowly peels open the pages again, eventually opening her eyes and staring again as she gulps, tugging at her collar. Goodness, why was she getting so bothered over this? It was just normal for boys to have this, right? And yet, it's still so strange actually seeing this in Kirito's room than hearing about it... ]

. . . ah, so many pictures of nekomimi... if Kirito-san likes this, maybe I should emphasize my cat ears a little more in ALO...?

Though I think it'd be too much for me if I tried to dress like this... I don't even have the chest for it like Liz-san, Lyfa-san or even Asuna-san do...

[ FIRST WORLD LOLI PROBLEMS...

Poor Sachi, though. . . how is she and Yui are gonna react to this... ]

[tensecondrule]

[If silence was visible, then there would most certainly be a dense, unwavering fog hovering over Sachi's camera right about now. It's like everything is conspiring against her sanity, she swears... To her dismay, though, she can't just shut her lenses and pretend no one's there; she has to see her duties as someone watching over Kirito's room through. Thus, she's forced to chronicle the adventures of people raiding his room for unmentionables...

Yui, on the other hand, remains quizzical and curious... what was so important about the chest, anyway? Why did it matter so much to Silica? So many questions that she still can't get answers to...!]



--the point of keeping all of it if you're going to just take out what you need, anyway? Couldn't you just trash the rest of those magazines?

[Uhp--well, then, there's that. As if there wasn't enough cause for Sachi to panic, there's one of the girls that'd set off for Sugu's room... It'd be a huge understatement to say the poor girl isn't exactly having fun here.

Yui turns her camera in Sachi's general direction.]

Take out... what, exactly?

C--Can I get back to you on that later!? [WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IS THIS A THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING...]

[beasttaming]

[ So much for this being an unexciting venture... one supposes that Sachi should be glad that she hasn't seen Asuna herself bumbling about Kirito's room looking for the stash. That would have made things a whole new level of awkward right there. Then again, Asuna's definitely not the type to really bumble about unlike the rest of their friends...

Speaking of, though... that sure sounds like Liz and the others leaving Sugu's room for now - and another voice that's clearly dismayed as Sachi hears the door close. It sounds like they have something else in their possession that isn't le unmentionable bits... ]



--no way for me to do that without being noticed! Seriously, it's rare that any of us is home alone, much less myself! Onii-chan in particular does nothing but gaming and tinkering with his mechatronics projects when he's not at school or out with Asuna-san...

Plus, you saw how many that he has, right? It's kinda hard keeping track of all of them...



One of the few times that a RL inventory system would be so useful right now...



But an entire inventory screen for porn, though?



I never said it had to be for porn only! Seriously, weren't you even listening?! Look, I was just saying, that an inventory screen would be useful since we could use it to sort out every-- Silica-chan?

[ During their conversation Liz had casually thrown open the door to Kirito's room again, this time holding a bundle under her arm that definitely didn't look like anything that was out of Kirito's stash - Silica squeaks, yelping in surprise as she quickly hides the nekomimi moe magazine behind her back and sitting on it before she responds to Liz. ]

L-Liz-san! W-what are you all doing here...? I-I'm just here to, er. Deliver some class notes to him! And I'm just shocked that he has, well... these!

[ . . .

Either Liz noticed Silica's horrendous attempt as lying, and chooses not to say anything, or she actually doesn't notice at all... the former's more likely considering her satisfactory yet conniving grin, but she opts to instead change her focus to something else - the package under her arm as she nods. ]



You think that's bad, you should check out what Suguha-chan's got in her underwear drawer!



Hey, I never said that you could show her!? What exactly are you trying to pull!

[ Of course, Liz doesn't say anything and instead lets the package do the talking as she unfurls it-- WOW SUGUHA... WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT UNDERWEAR FROM, EVEN...

Needless to say, even before Silica can let out a scandalized squeak, Liz then decides to make it even worse... ]



Seriously, between this and what we found in Kirito-kun's stash it's definitely giving me ideas!