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streakofsunlight2015-05-28 01:59 am
tensecondrule) wrote in streakofsunlight2015-05-28 01:59 am
A freak accident waiting to happen.
[Sachi never really expected a lot of the things that she experienced leading up to now.
From being returned to life as an NPC within the world of New Aincrad and ALfheim by proxy, to being returned to the world proper from inside a camera that was her former guildmate's doing, to being thrust into one of the capers that he'd gotten tangled with, she felt a strange mixture of being blessed that she could continue on, albeit in an awkward shell of sorts, and being confused that she's still even alive. Not that it kept her from being happy to be back -- especially since she could meet the many people that pushed him to become what he is today.
Nothing could really describe her confusion at what was going on now, though--the fact that she was helping him find, of all things, a stash of... 'unmentionables', so to speak. This was awkward; why was she the only one that could help him with something like this? Isn't it a bit much to ask her of something like that in the first place!? DX ...Though then again, now that she reflects on it, it's not like Kirito has any better choices right now...
...well, best to pull it together for him. She can't let him down...though that might be harder to avoid than she's expecting it to be...
Sachi's lens widen and narrow in bewilderment as she stares into the darkness under Kirito's bed...]
Er...Kirito? Are you sure this is where you left it?
From being returned to life as an NPC within the world of New Aincrad and ALfheim by proxy, to being returned to the world proper from inside a camera that was her former guildmate's doing, to being thrust into one of the capers that he'd gotten tangled with, she felt a strange mixture of being blessed that she could continue on, albeit in an awkward shell of sorts, and being confused that she's still even alive. Not that it kept her from being happy to be back -- especially since she could meet the many people that pushed him to become what he is today.
Nothing could really describe her confusion at what was going on now, though--the fact that she was helping him find, of all things, a stash of... 'unmentionables', so to speak. This was awkward; why was she the only one that could help him with something like this? Isn't it a bit much to ask her of something like that in the first place!? DX ...Though then again, now that she reflects on it, it's not like Kirito has any better choices right now...
...well, best to pull it together for him. She can't let him down...though that might be harder to avoid than she's expecting it to be...
Sachi's lens widen and narrow in bewilderment as she stares into the darkness under Kirito's bed...]
Er...Kirito? Are you sure this is where you left it?
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I was... actually here when the drawer was busted in the first place...
[ She unconsciously rubbed her knees - the ones she banged against this very computer table when that whole mess with Freddy Fazbear and his loving band of spooks - as she gestured vaguely in the direction of the now drawer-less space. ]
Things... things involving certain animatronics that will not be named happened that left all of us scarred and this poor table taking the worst of it... actually, I think there's still a couple splinters from that mess in the space... as well as some salt from when we tried to exorcise the computer...
[ Shuddering again as she reaches in and grabs the magazines, she lays them out on the floor next to Sinon as she just sighs. ]
Yeah, just... all of the mental scarring happened...
Either way, the important thing is that I was here when the drawer was broken and when I found these a while back, I figured I'd hide them here because I doubt Kirito-kun would want to deal with the reminder of that whole mess.
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...Wait a minute. So this was--
[She immediately stops herself before she finishes that thought. So THIS is where the initial Freddy Fazbear screwball happened -- and it was behind her back, too... Well, of all the luck. Now she kind of regrets asking about it...especially since SHE'S feeling the reminder of certain events that led to them becoming animatronics... :|!!!!!]
Why does that stupid mascot exist again...?
[That's all she has to say on thatmatter, as she peeks over and has a look at those unmentionables...
Sachi, meanwhile, is just hanging her head at all that. Sob. She can't help but try to imagine what Kirito must have felt when that happened... /)_(\ Though she does get snapped out of that by a certain child beginning to stir.
Aw, crap.]
Papa...? Mama? Is that--
[Nope. Before she can babble anymore, she just straight up goes--]
Shhhhhhhhh!
[Sure enough...Sinon perks up at that moment of noise. Welp, crap. Sachi starts praying RIGHT at that moment.
Don't notice, don't notice, don't notice...!]
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[ Christ, Liz, no need to yell. No one is ever ready for Freddy, obviously. Especially if they have to bring the damn thing to life and get bitten as a result... Liz is still not over that entire mess, in case it wasn't particularly, painfully obvious... ]
Either way, no one is ever ready for him. And I doubt anyone will ever be ready, so I'm just going to forget that I just recalled that entire mess in the first place!
[ Liz sighs, but then freezes at the noise... and then whirls hysterically towards what she thinks the source of the sound is - the air vent next to the shelf where Sachi's and Yui's cameras are - and again yelling loudly because of that train of thought they were just on. ]
I JUST SAID I WAS GOING TO FORGET RECALLING THAT, DAMMIT!
Get out of here, Freddy! No one likes you--! I swear to God, if you're still here trying to scare us I'll... I'll throw salt at you!
[ . . . yeah, please don't waste any more salt, Liz; especially since that isn't Freddy who you're talking to... ]
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[OW, OW. Okay, loud Liz is probably the worst Liz she's had to put up with so far. Especially when she's close to shouting right into her ear. Her poor eardrums...
She does look where the leprechaun is looking, though...and just gives the vent a flat look before looking towards the other girl like she went and sekuhara'd one of their friends. This, of course, gives Sachi room to sigh in relief after all that. For a second, she thought her cover was going to be blown...]
Liz...calm down, would you? It's just an air vent. Besides, we know better than to believe in urban legends.
[...Even if they're a large part of why they've come back to life. :| Sighing and turning her attention to the unmentionables, Sinon cradles her head.]
Let's just get back to looking at those books. And I seriously can't believe I'm suggesting that.
[This, coming from the one who was curious about her potential advantages... :|
Meanwhile, Sachi keeps her voice down as she responds to the confused Yui...]
E--Er...Sachi-san? What's going on?
Shhh. Just...trust me for now. Keep your voice low, and help me keep watch on them...
[Yui's lens widens in realization.]
O-oh...! Is this what they called 'being a spy' during one of those movie nights they had...?
S...Something like that. [Smiling nervously from behind the camera lens, Sachi continues monitoring the pair...] Kirito just wants me to keep watch on his room...but...this does come close, come to think of it...
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Easy for you to say, we're the ones responsible for that whole mess in the first place!
[ And then she recalls about how air vents were utilized in later installments of Freddy's, and then just shivers. Yeah. YEAH. Liz just shoots one last dirty glare at the air vents before she sighs, turning around and sitting down on the floor, using one of the couch pillows as a cushion as she nodded. ]
Well, believe it! There's a lot of stuff to look through... seriously, he's got quite the collection!
[ Looking through the magazines, she then grins as she pulls out a certain one... ]
. . . and look what I told you! Nekomimi AND glasses... lucky day for you, isn't it, Sinonon?
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Yui, on the other hand, is just staring at all this with a tilted head from behind her camera...]
Sachi-san, is this what porn is supposed to be?
[WHY THIS. Sachi buries her head in her hands, thankful the child couldn't see the red on her face...]
...C--Can't you ask Kirito about that when he comes home...? T--This isn't the time...
O--Okay...sorry for bringing it up...
[Speaking of, the archer balks a bit -- though her expression seems more bemused than it does outright frustrated...]
I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that he's into that sort of thing, or the fact that you were right...
[Because seriously, she has to have gone through these at least three times, maybe even more. There's no other way she could have figured it out otherwise...]
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[ Liz stops for a moment as she reaches into her bag and... wait, is that another magazine she just pulled out?! ]
Yeah, I know this looks bad, but I mean it when I say it's not mine, it's Kirito-kun's! I just... took it for my own personal reasons...
[ "Personal reasons" meaning that she actually borrowed it for ideas regarding the outfits that the girls in this one were wearing - in this case, maid outfits... ]
I only mentioned this offhand once to tease Asuna and Kirito-kun, but to found out that he was into maid outfits, as well? French maid outfits, at that! Honestly, you'd think he was so quiet and aloof and kinda frustrating otherwise if you didn't know what was going on in his mind...
. . . though it did give me an idea for a costume to give to Asuna should she and Kirito-kun ever decide to, well. You know.
[ . . . Liz. Liz, seriously, why are you even allowed to do what you do, for real. :| !!!! ]
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[...If there's one question that popped into the back of Sinon's mind, it's exactly that -- why is she even allowed to do any of this? :|!!!! Sinon's balking grows that much more obvious as she gapes at the other girl like she'd gone mad...]
I'm pretty sure they'll be just fine without you shoving costumes at them on a daily basis!
[SERIOUSLY, WHY.
Sachi herself is balking now, too (Kirito, how do you even put up with Liz so well!?!) -- while Yui, being the confused, oblivious little girl she is, just keeps tilting her head, filing off things for her to ask of her adopted dad when he comes home...]
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[ Both Kirito and Asuna have the patience of a saint when it comes to Liz, let's be honest here. And considering the kinds of antics and shenanigans that Liz can get into by herself, much less with the others...
Though now that Liz is on that subject, she's looking at Sinon herself now with an all-too-serious glance as she puts a finger to her chin in thought. ]
. . . you know, you'd look really cute in a French maid outfit, now that I think of it! You've got the slender figure and the cute face for it, so why not?
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[Reflexively, she steps back. She's been through enough incidents with Liz in the past year that she's gotten just as wary of the leprechaun as her friends.
And might she add, she has EVERY reason to be wary... :|!!!!!!]
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[ Liz looks at her fellow gamer and archer with a nod in emphasis as she crossed her arms, staring at Sinon with a severe glare in her eyes as she studied Sinon again - if not for that mischievous little twinkle in her eyes at that moment, one would think she'd done a complete 180 in her mood as she approached Sinon. ]
You've got both the looks and the figure for it! I mean it, you're definitely adorable enough to pull off the meido look, especially if you took advantage of it! Seriously, you could seduce Kirito-kun away from Asuna if you wanted to!
Though, of course, I absolutely know you wouldn't - as you've told me many times before - but I'm just throwing that out there...
[ . . . Liz, was that really necessary.
Either way, she pauses, putting a finger to her chin and closing her eyes as she 'hmm'ed in thought, adding the rest as an afterthought. ]
And besides, that was last year! It's a new year now... new events, new situations for us to get involved in... and that means we need to be prepared! So clearly new costumes need to be a thing, as well! So no, I think I could afford to do more for just in case!
. . . even though I really hope we don't have to worry about getting dragged into more crazy situations, but considering fate has it out for us... anyway, I know what I'm doing! So stop staring at me like I've lost my mind and calm down for a moment while I check on something!
[ With that, Liz moves forward with one fluid motion as she grabs Sinon by the hand and pulls her close, before letting her hands wander and grope the poor unsuspecting archer. Well, this isn't awful at all... ]
Ah... Sinonon, did your chest get a little bigger over the last year? It feels like it...!
[ And while this is going on, they're probably wrapped up enough in Liz's sekuhara that neither of them will hear the front door opening and closing during that very moment... ]
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LIZ, WHY.]
S--Stop that! Haven't you harassed me enough for a decade!? [Yup, that's going to handily distract them, as well...
Unfortunately, it's only going to bring Sachi one step closer to complete and utter horror, and it comes down to whatever willpower she can muster to keep herself from just shrieking at Liz for her antics. She didn't seem that bad on the surface, but now that she's witnessed her doing something this indecent to one of their friends? Well...
EVERYTHING SHE KNEW WAS A LIE. It's the only way to describe what's going on here... DDDDDDDX
Yui, still as boggled as ever, directs what she says next to Sachi...]
Um, Sachi-san? What is Liz-san doing to Sinon-san...?
[Keeping her voice as low as possible while being a little shrill about it, Sachi immediately responds, lens nearly clamping shut.]
You don't want to know...! Ever...!
[...welp. That'll get Yui to fret over her friend...]
S--Sachi-san? Y--You're okay, right...!?
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[ LIZ. PLZ. /)__(\
Thankfully, Sinon's sexual harassment is cut short by the sound of something heavy hitting the floor outside of Kirito's room - and Liz freezes up noticeably as she looks at the other girl with a look of complete accord as she stared at the door, her hands still firmly on Sinon's breasts. ]
C-crap... please don't tell me that's who I think it--
Onii-chan--! I'm home! I got out early from kendo practice this morning, so I figured maybe we could get in a few hours of gaming in ALO? But you really could've told me you brought--
Eh?! Liz-san, Sinon-san... I didn't know either of you would visit today...
[ As the voice outside approached with each word, the bedroom door flies open during the latter part of this speech, revealing the speaker as Kirito's younger cousin and adoptive sister, Suguha Kirigaya. She stopped short when she spotted both Liz and Sinon, talking again in a more moderate tone once she'd fully set aside her equipment. ]
It's always good to see you two! You're both always welcome here, of course... but you could've said something if you were planning to drop by. There's a store that opened up nearby that has some really great cakes, and...
[ . . . hey, wait, are those...
Suguha blinks for several moments as she finally took in the state of disarray Kirito's room was in, along with all the different porn magazines scattered about as well as the fact that Liz had been apparently groping away at poor Sinon with wild abandon before her arrival - and looked completely nonplussed as she realized just what was going on. ]
... uh. Am I interrupting something...?
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Please, do keep interrupting...whatever it takes to, whether you know or not, help me stay sane...!
[Oh, still so naive... /)_(\ It's not helped by Yui's sudden lack of response as the scene in front of them takes higher priority -- did she mentally fritz out from all the stimuli (was it even possible for an AI to fritz out from something like that?)? Is she still panicking a little over her, or is she still recording all this for her later queries...? DX
Sinon, meanwhile, stares at Sugu for all of a few seconds, before glaring as best she could from the awkward angle at Liz... Really, leprechaun? Really? How is it that your timing is just impeccable in the worst ways?]
Let go of me already! You've embarrassed me enough for another year or two!
[She can't even move without feeling fingers against clothed skin like this, it's horrible... She quickly turns her head to Sugu, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind--]
Help me!
[...That certainly won't be something they'll want to scream later... :|]
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[ Before Liz can even attempt speaking, Suguha's already at Sinon's side, prying Liz's fingers off of the poor girl's chest and giving her a particularly impressive death glare as she just helps the poor sniper away from this sekuhara monster. Seriously, why do they all know Liz again...? Who even gave her the right to do these kinds of things to them, even?
( Current "ruined for marriage" counter: 1 for Sinon ) ]
Geez, Liz-san... what's wrong with you? Isn't it bad enough that you did this to me and Asuna-san once before? Sinonon-san doesn't need to be exposed to that!
Hey, HEY! For the record, she came along willingly! And I was only just checking her out since it looked like she'd grown a bit in the lasy year or so...
[ . . . poor Sachi. If her impressions of Liz weren't already ruined before...
Either way, Suguha just looks at her with the most unimpressed of glares as she put her hand to her forehead in a mix of frustration and exasperation, as she's not QUITE sure what to make of this whole mess - understandable, considering it's Liz who probably put the poor sniper up to it.
Then she takes a closer look at the magazines that both girls were looking at, and... she just makes a face at the both of them - while saying something that she probably shouldn't have said because, in hindsight? It's going to end up incriminating HER, as well... ]
Geez... checking her out for what? This?
Why do you two even have part of onii-chan's collection out, anyway!? That's not something anyone should be looking at!
[ . . . uh, Suguha? Why do you know what this is, and what do you mean, 'part'... ? ]
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[Sinon squints at Liz like she'd declared her intent to shove someone into one of her cosplays. Really? Because that's not what she remembers from when she opened the door this morning... :|]
Last I checked, you didn't mention we'd be looking through this again. Besides, I--
[...And then she proceeds to balk at Sugu mid-sentence, because there's so much about that sentence that doesn't make sense to her...]
...'part'...? Wait, don't tell me there's more of these lying around!
[................................No. Nononononoonononono. She can't possibly be hearing this right, could she? Suguha couldn't possibly be a closet pervert underneath the face she shows to everyone else on ALO, right...? This was some kind of freaky sexually charged nightmare, wasn't it!? Wait, can AIs even have nightmares!?! No, more importantly, this has to be all some kind of lie, wasn't it!? Where are the good natured friends Kirito told her about!?!?
Sachi continues listening in, hoping beyond any rational hope that what she just heard was her imagination, while Yui's camera lens begins to focus on her fellow AI's...]
Sachi-san...?
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You see...
[ . . . crap, she'd totally just blurted that out without thinking, didn't she? Suguha glances between Sinon and Liz with a nonplussed expression on her face as she spoke up again... ]
T-there's a good reason for this!
Suguha-chaaaaaaaaan~
[ Suddenly, she felt a chill down her back as the poor girl let out a soft squeak of panic as Liz slowly approached her with a wicked grin on her face, her hands reaching for empty air as she realized just what the leprechaun was planning.
Even though she had time to react according and attempt an escape, it was already too late as Liz jumped after her and grabbed her, groping her breasts in earnest - Suguha yelped loudly, squeaking and flailing as Liz continued to leer at her. ]
L-Liz-san, stop! Is this even necessary at all?!
Hey, you can make this stop at any time you want! Just answer our sniper friend's question, yeah?
[ Suddenly Suguha lets out a panicked yelp as she feels Liz's hand on her butt - and reacts accordingly as she slaps Liz's hands away and hides behind Sinon. Seriously, Sinonon, you're saner than she is. Do something about this sekuhara leprechaun already! ]
S-so what if there's more?! Geez, Liz-san--! This is exactly why I didn't want you coming in here in the first place!
. . . they're in my room, if you have to know.
[ ...
( Current "ruined for marriage" counter: 1 for Sinon, 1 for Suguha )
Considering that Kirito himself had dismissed the idea when they were looking around for it earlier, suddenly Sachi might find herself getting a little sick... why, Suguha. Why. /)__(\ !!! ]
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This isn't helped by Yui's boggling over the whole issue, of course, now that she's witnessing even more of the sekuhara...]
...Sachi-san? Is there any reason why Liz-san is grabbing Suguha-san by the chest? Or why she and Sinon-san flailed about earlier?
[...Five seconds pass without a response before the childlike AI turns to Sachi's camera...]
Sachi...san? Sachi-san? A--Are you still there? Y--You're making me worry now...!
[Another few seconds pass before she musters a reply.
Suffice to say, it's not an answer to her question... :|]
...everything Kirito told me after he saved me from that temple was a lie...
[...Welp, Yui's lens are widening, the closest gesture she has to being utterly perplexed...]
E--Eh? W--What did Papa lie to you about? He wouldn't do something like that, would he!? E--Even if he does some silly things, Papa wouldn't outright lie to anyone...!
[Internally shuddering, Sachi just...tries to record whatever else there is to record from this particular conversation... :|
Meanwhile, with the sekuhara derp ranch, Sinon balks at Liz again, before moving over to poor Sugu and checking on her. Not that it'd be likely to help any at that point, seeing that the damage is done...]
Seriously? All that just to get answers out of her?
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Either way, though, Liz just shoots Sinon a withering glare, unaware of their audience as she throws up her arms in exasperation before crossing them and huffing indignantly at Sinon. ]
But it worked, didn't it? We got an answer to your question...
Even so, there wasn't any need for you to grab me like that!
[ She's just going to continue hovering around Sinon as she relaxes visibly, groaning in exasperation as she put a hand to her forehead. Seriously, if this didn't take her back to the swimming lessons... she was just getting over that, as well... either way, she visibly stops and huffs loudly at Liz as she finally emerges from behind Sinon. ]
. . . anyway, if you really want to, I guess... I can show you the rest of the magazines, but you have to promise me you won't touch anything! And I mean it, too!
[ Suguha continues to glare at Liz, who just sighs quietly and shakes her head. Seriously, this is what all her hard work brings her, huh...? ]
Okay, okay! We'll be good, promise! Just show us the other magazines already... I know I'm curious, but who knows? Maybe Sinonon will find out she's got a few more charm points she could use on Kirito-kun...
[ . . . Liz plz ]
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You make it sound like I'm actually going to use them... [Le siiiiigh. :| She glances at Sugu.] Still, now that she's more or less ratted it out of you, there isn't much point in not seeing them, is there?
[Sachi just shivers in place while continuing to look. How did her life come to this, exactly? Spying on her own friends for another friend for the sake of finding something they were supposed to dispose, and listening to all manner of uncomfortable conversation to go with it...]
I--I hope Kirito comes back soon...at this rate...
Ah--I was going to ask, actually...Where did Papa go? He shouldn't be that far, right?
He went to the library to pick up a Mechatronics book...so he might not be back for a while.
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Well, why wouldn't you, Sinonon?! You're definitely cute, so I don't see what's so wrong about you learning some "tricks of the trade", so to speak...
[ LIZ...
There's a groan of pure exasperation from Suguha as she tries - and fails - to resist the urge to bring a hand to her forehead. Why do they know this monster again, she's even worse than any pervert...! ]
L-Liz-san, that's... you know what, never mind, I can't even--
[ She's just. Going to turn to Sinon sheepishly and scratch the back of her head in embarrassment... ]
Still, she does have a point! You're really pretty, Sinon-san, so who knows? There could be something that you could use...
[ Though she does also have the decency to shrug unhelpfully because of how that might be taken... unlike a certain leprechaun... ]
Like you said, you might as well - what have you got to lose?
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How many times do I have to say I won't actually use it...? Seriously, there's something wrong with this discussion...
Besides, you guys do know Asuna's going to freak out at us if she so much as overhears any of this, right? [Standing after a moment and pressing two fingers to her forehead, she heads to Sugu's room to find the things...all while inadvertently making poor Sachi freak out inside. Again. /)_(\
The only question is, how far is this going to go, and how many questions will Yui ask her while she can't really listen in... DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD|]
...um...Sachi-san?
[Yui's camera remains firmly glued in the direction of Sachi's. Continuing to stare at the slowly emptying room, she responds without diverting attention...]
Yes?
What are they trying to use, exactly...?
[. . .
KIRITO, HURRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY... DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD|]
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Well, then we'll just have to make sure neither she nor Kirito-kun find out! It'll be like those stealth missions in games - we've played enough of those so it can't be that hard.
[ . . . if only it were really as simple as you said, Liz. Suguha just stares at Liz like she's lost it and responds accordingly... ]
Liz-san... just because we've played VRMMOs doesn't make us experts... well, unless you're onii-chan...
Suguha-chan, he doesn't count! Kirito-kun makes anyone look like they're a noob, let's be honest here...
[ Wow, you two. Somewhere Kirito is sneezing loudly in the library and he's not sure why that's a thing... ]
Now come on! We don't have any time to waste - to Suguha-chan's room!
W-wait--! Liz-saaaaaaaaaaaan!
[ Welp, with Liz and Suguha following after Sinon, the three conspirators eventually shuffle out of Kirito's room, Liz in particular looking like she was ready to show Sinon and Suguha how to impress a man ( read: Kirito ) with these... clandestine magazines that were in Suguha's possession. The door closed behind them, and the room was empty at last.
. . . if Sachi's impressions of Suguha, Liz and Sinon weren't ruined before, though... ]
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Sachi's impression is most certainly ruined NOW... she would have put it past them, because they sounded like some of the nicest people Kirito could have met! But now, now that she's seen what they're like when they're not bickering with each other on ALO, this whole thing's gotten so much more thickly awkward she swears she could cut it with Nagisa's greatsword... She's not even sure how to tell Yui any of what she's looking for answers for either, considering this is more or less corruption of a minor...
Speaking of, how is she even supposed to answer any of Yui's questions without inadvertently making her curious about the wrong things? It's not as if Sachi's got that much knowhow about it; she wasn't exactly into risque subject matter herself anyway, even if she knew the basics. But she doesn't have enough metaphors or fancy ways to put it to make the explanation work...]
Sachi-san?
[Aaaaaaaaaand she just got broken out of her awkward little trance...]
W--What?
You went really, really quiet after I asked that question...I didn't ask anything uncomfortable, did I...?
N--No...no, you didn't. Really. I'm just...trying to figure out how to start... [Not that it helps her mental state, because she's torn between panicking and hitting the impromptu shutdown...]
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Unfortunately for Sachi, it's going to get even more uncomfortable for her - as it so happens, the air vent that their cameras are next to? The one that Liz shrieked at when she had war flashbacks of Five Nights at Freddy's? It's really good at picking up noises from all over the house. And since they, Liz, Suguha and Sinon are the only ones in the house... ]
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA! G-geez, Suguha, you weren't kidding when you said it was only part of the collection... how many of these things are there?!
I-I told you there was a lot! And Onii-chan gets a lot of gaming magazines, so I'm guessing that he sneaks them in that way...?
Yeah, I noticed... but seriously, though, swimsuits and gaming cosplay, too? Dork...
. . . it's onii-chan, though. Did you really expect anything different?
Okay, point, but still! This is a lot-- hey, wait, some of these look like those magazines I've seen Klein leafing through when he thinks no one's looking...
[ . . . well, at least that answers where he gets them? But still... this is way too much information in way too little time! Think of the recovery time and the stats, girls!
... oh, and also how it sounds like the front door just opened again, but at this point it's not like anyone would be paying attention, right? Right? ]
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